How To Tell Your Spouse You Want Plastic Surgery
Have you ever played the “What would you spend your lottery win on?” game with friends and family? How many of those playing were bold enough to say plastic surgery? That they would like younger looking faces, bigger breasts, flatter tummies or a smaller nose. The assumption many people make is that plastic surgery is only for rich people. Yet last year Americans spent more than $16.5 billion on plastic surgery. People of all economic and social backgrounds are considering and getting invasive (such as breast augmentation) and non-invasive (Botox) procedures.
For some people, telling others they want to have something done is very difficult. They worry others will judge them harshly, or not understand why they don’t like what they have. Telling your spouse you want plastic surgery can be the toughest conversation. How do you begin to brooch the subject? How do you get across to them that you are serious and not just looking for a compliment? Spouses are required to love you however you look. They are pre-programed (by their mothers) to be kind and say complimentary things to their other halves when asked the dreaded question: “How do I look?” It’s a minefield out there, and they don’t want to get it wrong! If you re serious about changing and improving yourself you need to get this right. Here are some tips on getting the conversation started.
Do Your Research
Show your spouse that you have spent time and energy researching great plastic surgeons and different procedures. Let him know you are taking the decision seriously by showing him a spreadsheet of costs for each surgery you are interested in. Want smaller or larger breasts – research how much breast augmentation surgeries are. Are you feeling sadder each time you like in the mirror – get pricing on liquid face-lifts.
Tell him you have asked friends who have had plastic surgery. Go on local Facebook groups and ask people’s opinions of particular surgeries. When you sit down with your spouse, he will want to know about pricing and that you would be using a safe and well respected surgeon. They don’t want to be married to the Bride of Frankenstein!
Find some personal experience articles and encourage your spouse to read a few. They will be good reading for you too! They are fantastic resources, giving inside tips on what to ask for, what to expect before and after, and to get a realistic view of whether it is worth the cost and discomfort.
Create The Right Space to Have The Chat
Don’t decide to have the conversation at a party after your spouse comments on a party goers perky chest or swollen lips. Sure, comment back with a positive reaction and maybe ask them if they like the said pair of breasts. (Disclosure – they may think this is a trick question from you. Be prepared for the deer caught in the headlight look and some stammering). Reassure them that you are curious because you think they look fab. Then move on to other things and don’t engage them further. Parties are too loud and not an intimate spot for this kind of conversation.
So where would be a good spot and a good time? Think date night at home. Cook their favorite meal, open a bottle of good wine, a bit of love soul on the Alexa and keep the conversation light and amusing. After dessert, throw in a hook – maybe a friend has just had something done, a famous person has done an interview, or you read an article. And get the conversation moving. They will be relaxed and slightly buzzed. You will be prepared and determined. How can it not go wrong?
Be Honest About What You Want
If you start telling them you don’t like something, they are going to jump in and contradict you. Be strong and emphasize that you are serious about it and don’t need a pep talk to feel better. Tell them how you feel about your tiny boobs, your crooked nose, your saggy jowls, or wrinkly eyes. Let them know these things affect your mood and make you feel bad about yourself.
Explain that you have been thinking about surgery for a while and you feel confident the changes will improve your self-esteem. Tell your spouse how much you think they will enjoy the changes to your physical appearance and your mental health. How could they not want a happier, more confidant spouse?
Take Advantage of A Free Consultation
Before you have the discussion with your loved one, discuss your needs with a plastic surgeon. They should give you an honest opinion of what you need (if you ask them!). It may be the first time you have openly expressed your desire to change a body area or have fillers or Botox. Talking about it openly with a doctor will give you a chance to practice what you want to say. Maybe speaking to the plastic surgeon will highlight procedures you didn’t know about and make you decide not to have something you thought you would definitely want.
During the consultation be sure to talk about the costs, recovery time and side effects. These are all things your spouse will want to know about.
Have The Costs At Hand
Plastic surgery is an investment. You are investing in your body and your mental health. It has become more affordable in recent years, and many surgeries have payment plans. Most cosmetic surgeries cannot be done on your health insurance. When you have the conversation, your spouse is going to ask about costs and whether it is something you can afford. Present them with the costs you received during your consultation. Explain that you are happy to wait and save if needed. If this is something you are passionate about, making some changes in your day-to-day living could spend your saving up. Rather than a purchased coffee everyday, make one at home and add the money into a surgery plan.
Listen To Your Partner
Some loved ones may be shocked to hear you talk about wanting plastic surgery. They may feel sad that you ‘hate’ yourself and want to change. Reassure them that you are making this decision with a strong, independent mind, and it is not from a place of hate but from a desire to present the best you – to both yourself and others. Don’t undermine their opinions, take what they say seriously and talk it through.
Who knows, maybe they will surprise you by wanting something done too!
For those wondering whether plastic surgery might be the best cosmetic solution for you, we invite you to come in for a complimentary consultation with Dr. Chang or one of the cosmetic laser and injection nurses to explore whether you would make a good candidate. To find out more whether Aesthetica can help you, contact us online or at 703-729-5553 to arrange an appointment. Dr. Phillip Chang is a board-certified plastic surgeon in Northern Virginia near Leesburg, Virginia and an expert in a wide variety of cosmetic treatments.
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